X Factor Hits A Bum Note / Thoughts on True Love
Posted: August 21, 2011 Filed under: Ethical Issues, TV | Tags: bum, Destiny's Child, Frankie, Gary Barlow, girls, Kelly Rowland, Louis Walsh, Love, lust, Simon Cowell, Weddings, women, x factor 1 Comment »Love it or loathe it, you can’t deny the X Factor is a massive part of Britain’s culture.
The papers can’t stop talking about it, millions watch it religiously and you probably like it too…even if you won’t admit it.
Last night, the time had come. X Factor 2011. So here we go… Audition one.
Who will the producers pick to open one of the UK’s biggest shows?
His name is Frankie. He’s 18. He’s from Brighton. All good so far.
When Louis Walsh asked Frankie why he auditioned for the X Factor, Frankie replied replied “to get lots of girls”. In a separate interview he also said he’d like to sleep with as many women as possible.
It gets better… He doesn’t have a job and recently went to Malia and got the names of seven different girls tattooed on his bum…which he then proceeds to show everyone.
At this, Kelly Roland (ex Destiny’s Child) remarks “I freaking love the UK!”
Yes, because this man sums up young people like me. We don’t have jobs, we consider ourselves “a liability”, we want to spread as many STDs as possible and get famous for the sake of being famous. Oh and we love to get tattoos on our bums. Yep, that’s us! Welcome to the UK, Kelly. This is our culture.
The girls LOVED him. The judges LOVED him. He had a good voice, but why encourage the lifestyle he aspires to? Are girls just there for men to sleep with? Is that their purpose? I’m not writing this just to slag off one 18 year old. That would be unfair, because the facts are that Frankie represents thousands of other young people with similar views.
Maybe you’re one of them? Please hear me. This isn’t meant to be Sam being some kind of ‘Judgemental Christian Conservative’ trying to spoil everyone’s fun. I’m not a feminist either. I just think women should be treated with respect, and it makes no sense to me to watch other women encouraging this lad by cheering and laughing along.
Frankie is representative of many young people. Here’s what these boys say to girls: “I want to sleep with as many of you as possible, I don’t have a job. I can’t support you long term. I’m not interested in that. I just want some satisfaction, and you’ll do. I’ll tell you you’re hot, and you’ll like that and go along with my wishes. When I’m finished with you, I’ll move on. That’s my view of sex and relationships. Are you in?”
Sadly, the answer from many girls is “yes”, when it should be “get lost, you jerk”.
I was reminded yesterday of a wonderful, beautiful alternative to Frankie’s attitude. An attitude of not just ‘long term’ commitment, but ‘forever’ commitment.
The two people I saw tie the knot yesterday weren’t much older than Frankie, but their attitudes couldn’t have been more different. It was a wonderful celebration of true love, not the kind of lust a lot of young people like Frankie are into. Life long commitment may not be easy, but most couples will tell you it’s so much more rewarding than the shallow alternative.
To the fellas I wanna say “grow up”. Be a man, not a boy who can shave. A real man is someone who treats women with respect and dignity, not use and abuse them as they please.
The the girls I wanna say: “Don’t settle for the dumb guys.” There are plenty of guys who just want to use you. And as a man, it pains me to say that. But love is not about using the other person. It’s about giving to the other person. There are guys out there who want to love and care for their ladies. Find one of those men. They will make you happy.
X Factor gives plenty of time to the dumb guys. And they love the attention. They are all about what they can get, not what they can give. Everything Frankie said on the programme tonight revolved around what he could get from girls. It was lust. And everyone applauded.
The two people I saw marry yesterday, want to give to each other for the rest of their lives. That’s love. It’s not easy, but my goodness it’s a million times better than any alternative.
I’ve been bold and outspoken. Now it’s your turn. Comment below…
hey sammy.
that was an interesting blog and i must say i am very muddled on the subject myself.
as you know i believe i am a strong independent women. and i am very defensive of women being treated as equals. however I am also a 20 year old women, and i unfortunately fall into your ladies that accept what these men say but with a bit of a twist… i would never cheer or agree with what frankie said, i think thats sick. however i do let guys use me, and how i get around it, in my head i convince myself im doing it for me, that its my satisfaction im fulfilling, but recently i realised that the only satisfaction i was fulfilling is my want to be wanted. i have been sleeping with 3 guys regularly since Jan and other one nighters in-between and none of them will ever mean anything more to me than that. i thought separating love and sex was good, it meant i could go out and have a good time and carry it on all night once the party is over. however about 2 weeks ago the guys start getting a bit pushy, i thought it was all on my terms, when i wanted how i wanted and if i didnt i would say no, but they keep going on about meeting up for sex and what they want to do and some stuff i didnt want to do, it was then i realised i wasnt control, i was being used as a chew toy, a bit on the side while these guys figger out what they really want. i wasn’t doing this to please me, i was doing it to please them which pleased me??? confused… i was! cos if you look it like that it could be mistaken for love… like you described, i want to give them satisfaction, making them feel good, and pleasing them is what i was getting pleasure from!!! but that isnt love! so where is the line, where does it cross over? i have now texts these guys and ended our little show. because i dont want a man to make me feel cheap. and from the girls prospective, yes we do encourage these men, well when men dump you and ditch you cos you mention the word boyfriend or you have an idea of your future what are we suppose to do. after reading miss Tonks blog also on the subject i believe you are both not seeing it from where us single ladies see it. we need to feel needed and wanted and if 1 guy only gives you a drop of that attention we have to find it from more guys. sad? yer. but we are not stupid, although this rubbish bit of needing to please is about, i do believe we reach a stage where we can turn around and say no, im not a chew toy, i deserve better.
obviously this could all be solved if i took a leap over to Jesus, but if you dont believe you just dont and the hole in all of our hearts which you have filled with God, we all still have ours. do you not do things for God? try to please him? just because its what you consider good deeds or good code of conduct, you are still filling the hole of need. and we all have to do it some how, its been this way for generations, the low cut tops and high heals are not for our benefit, you think walking around in 5 inch heals is comfortable? its so a guy will look at us and say “i want her”, and the problem is we are in competition with each other, the lower her top is the higher my heals need to be and furthest she will go in bed the further i have to go or we will be rejected and left up on the shelf.
sorry… that was a bit long! lol! love ya huni xxxxx