You Do Not Appreciate The Power You Have

Dear World,

You do not appreciate the power you have.

I often see you writing things on Facebook which totally dis-regard the fact you are sitting behind the world’s biggest and best super computer.

Why do you insist on asking such simple questions? These include “does anyone know what time X Factor is on tonight?” and “can someone translate this [insert foreign text] for me?”

Are you so blind? Are you so foolish?

As you waste minutes seeking a pathetic surface level exchange on Facebook which you hope will bring a simple answer to your puny question, you forget you are seconds away accessing the aforementioned super computer!

The last thing I asked this computer was (for purely demonstrative purposes, I’m not emigrating) ”temperature in Cyprus”. (Those who are wise among you will note this is not strictly a question, as the grammar is incorrect.) But I do not need to correctly phrase my question – and that’s because this super computer is not as dumb as one of its predecessors (ridiculously dressed as a Butler I seem to remember…) which constantly begged you to ask, ask, ask(.com).

Anyway, not only can this super computer manoeuvre its way through bad grammar, it does not require me to spell words like antidisestablishmentarianism correctly (thank the good Lord!).

For example, If I were to write “Ciprus”, this computer (without so much as a tut at my inability to spell even the most basic of names) will automatically display results for “Cyprus”.

What can this super computer do exactly? At its most basic level, it simply searches for words. But words is not its only forte! Oh no, it’s not just a dictionary. It’s rather good with numbers too. It’s a world clock, a thermometer  a currency exchanger and a calculator. It’s also managed to map the entire earth (no need to ask for directions guys, the super computer has it covered).

It’s easier to tell you what it can’t do than it is to try and explain everything it can do!

What about when your pathetic brain can’t remember even the most common of words? I remember once I forgot the name of an ‘ambulance’ midway through a conversation. I called it a “big hospital truck thing”. I should have consulted the super computer. I could have typed “mobile hospital truck is called *” into my smartphone as the super computer completes your sentence if you use the asterisk at the end – thus revealing the word you had momentarily forgotten!

Google, I salute you. You’re the world’s biggest and best super computer. You’ve earned your reputation as the world’s biggest and best search engine, providing information on any subject you could ever imagine. But sometimes, I have to wonder if you’re also the world’s best kept secret. Your potential is huge, and so much greater than many realise.

So, world. Until you stop asking your silly questions, I’m going to do the following. *copies silly question* *pastes into lmgtfy.com* *follows on screen instructions* *pastes link back into facebook box*

Yours sincerely and much too sarcastically,

Sam Hailes


What should be done with Jeremy Forrest?

Should the teacher be locked up?

The story of school girl Megan Stammers and Maths teacher Jeremy Forrest has shocked my home town of Eastbourne and the whole nation.

After taking Megan to France without the knowledge of her parents, Jeremy was caught and is due to be extradited back to the UK. He will face the criminal charge of ‘abduction’ which carries a maximum sentence of 7 years. From a quick reading of case law, it looks like he could be locked up for around 18 months at most.

But some have claimed any legal action would be a waste of time and money.

“It could be that they are madly in love,” said one Daily Mail commenter.

For me, whether they are “in love” or not is irrelevant. It’s disturbing that people are rushing to defend Forrest.

The Crime of Love?

Another commenter, this time on an Independent article said:

“As his lawyer said, his only crime was that he fell in love with a 15yr old…he was stupid the way he went about it, but I don’t think there will be any more than 5-10% of anyone who knows about this story that thinks he did it with any malice or force/manipulation of the girl, and that she didn’t know what she was doing. Again we’re casting judgement…but all I’m said is that I agree with Martin – love has no boundaries.”

His “only crime” was not to fall in love with a 15 year old. That is not a crime. Taking a 15 year old out of the country against the knowledge and will of her parents is a crime. The fact that he was a teacher and therefore abusing his privileged position only makes it worse.

If the UK government did not prosecute Mr Forrest they would send the message that it’s OK for any adult to take any child wherever they wanted in the world – as long as “love” was involved!

A Willing Abductee?

Forrest’s best defence will be that Megan went willingly. I have no problem with this lowering his sentence, but it does not and should not let him off the hook. ‘Abduction’ may not be the best word to use as it implies Megan was taken against her wishes – but I wholeheartedly defend UK law stating that someone other than a child’s parents taking a child out of the country without consent is illegal, morally reprehensible and totally unacceptable.

Anyone who suggests otherwise need only put themselves in Megan’s parents shoes. Imagine a stranger taking your daughter out of the country and not being able to contact either of them. Once you think that scenario through, I’m sure you’ll agree it’s right that Jeremy Forrest is brought to justice.

As for the sentence, I think we can all agree 5 years in prison would be harsh. But some are saying that any prison sentence would be harsh.

Sending a message

But if Forrest is not locked up, that sends the message that if a teacher runs away with a pupil, the worst that will happen is they lose their job. That will be a risk some are willing to take. Being locked up in prison for running away with a pupil is a different risk to take. I think a prison sentence would be a good deterrent. And in this area, a deterrent is clearly needed to stop such incidents from happening in the future.

There are related issues here. Anyone under 18 is a child. Young people don’t like this. Plenty of teenagers want to be “grown up” and will chase “adult relationships” – many of which will be inappropriate. At the same time there’s an epidemic of adults in their 20s and 30s who don’t want to grow up, get a job and contribute to society. They’d rather live with their parents, remain on JSA and play COD all day long. The children want to be adults and the adults want to be children.

I’ll stop there before I make any more sweeping generalisations that are likely to get me into trouble.

Over to you…Would love to hear your answers to the question in the headline…


Kony 2012 / The Retweet Rebellion

For the past week, Facebook and Twitter have been screaming at me to watch a video titled Kony 2012.

(I suggest you watch it before reading any of the below)

My immediate reaction when I saw people pushing the film a week ago was, “how do you have the time to watch a 30 minute video?”

Kind of ironic considering what I had just blogged about.

As far as I’m aware, this is the first time a video longer than 5 minutes has gone viral. That is surely an achievement in itself.

I am often guilty of cynicism and negativity. At the same time, I do like a good laugh. It was the latter of these qualities, namely humour that led me to post this picture on Facebook:

The reaction wasn’t great. Looks like I upset a few people. Oops!

To be fair, as the blogosphere became more agitated with the film, and the makers finally responded with the world’s longest defensive explanation, I did also re-tweet this from  @RobKelly123

“Keep going Kony, lad. We’ll all argue about a video while you crack on, son #sarcasm #KONY2012 #typical21stcentury” 

So even in my humour, I did my best to be balanced. But to be fair I shouldn’t have said anything at all. I still hadn’t watched the film!

After a couple of people joked that they “don’t know what to think” until or unless I blog on the subject (please note the word joke), I thought I’d add my two cents. So I watched the film while waiting for a train at Clapham Junction on Sunday afternoon.

Fame = ?

The entire documentary pivots on one assumed idea: “Making Kony well known for his crime will put pressure on governments to do something about it.”

It appears to me that a lot of people have an unwavering belief in that statement. But making someone famous doesn’t immediately lead to their capture. In fact arguably, he is already very famous.

You can’t be totally unknown while remaining number one on the International Criminal Court (ICC)’s most wanted list! While much of the Western World is oblivious to his existence, Africans know exactly who he is, and the people in power to stop him are well aware of his despicable crimes. The question is: “Will highlighting his existence to the world help capture him?”.

Awareness without action is pointless.

We live in an era where the revolution is televised, and as we saw in Cairo, it often begins with social media.

But can we really call re-tweeting a video the beginnings of a rebellion?

Watching a film does nothing for those caught in this terrible situation. Writing this blog does nothing. What about giving money to the charity behind this film – Invisible Children?

Invisible Children has been criticised for only spending around 30% of their budget on direct help for those in Uganda. The charity responded by saying many NGOs have a similar set up, with money going into other projects and admin costs.

White man’s burden?

Some have used the phrase “white man’s burden” to describe the film. In other words, the West has resources Africa doesn’t have, therefore we have a duty to help them. This can be viewed in one of two ways: Western generosity, or Westerners meddling in business that isn’t their own. Ugandans apparently see it as the latter.

The politics of intervention

It’s interesting that the same people who protested about our wars in Afghanistan and Iraq are jumping on the Kony bandwagon. Why is it OK for the West to intervene in some circumstances, but not others? That’s a question all of us need to ask ourselves.

There have been a number of unfair criticisms of the Kony campaign. No 30 minute program will ever be perfect, no charity and no campaign will ever be 100% pure. The idea is innovative and original. The heart behind the idea is good and the people involved are genuine.

Having said all this, the filmmaker does come across as proud and even arrogant at points. “We did this”, he repeats triumphantly. It’s immature and unrealistic to say taking down one man will “change the world forever” and have a lasting impact on the next generation of Americans. While removing Kony from his position should be celebrated, the film is full of exaggeration.

There aren’t 30,000 children walking around carrying guns right now. There’s 200, perhaps. What’s more, there’s no mention of how the LRA’s enemy – the Ugandan government is brutal. The LRA probably wouldn’t even exist if it wasn’t for the genocidal Ugandan army. Yet Invisible Children want to work with the Ugandan government on this project.

Final remarks

These are just some of the issues I’ve found after trawling the internet and reading plenty of articles from people who know more about this subject than I ever will.

It’s dangerous to swallow anything without researching it. Even something that looks great, important and vital can have its flaws.

Many including myself are concerned that millions of people have seen this video and not realised the situation is far from simple. It’s not a case of marching into the jungle and capturing or even killing Kony. He’s surrounded by people’s sons and daughters. Even if we did manage to shoot him, would that stop the violence? Killing Bin Laden hasn’t stopped Al Qaeda.

I take no joy in smearing a great campaign with mud. But when 30 minutes of emotional, heart-tugging footage doesn’t tell the full story, it’s up to the blogosphere to address the balance.

What matters now is each of us have a choice. None of us can plead ignorance. There’s an evil man who must be stopped. The Kony 2012 video has reminded us that each of us have a voice. The video suggests one way to use that voice. [Illegal fly posting and retweeting] But it’s only a suggestion. My view is both are as useless as each other.

Yet the message behind the campaign deserves to be heard, and that’s why we’re all indebted to Invisible Children.

Is it time to come up with some alternatives to the action Invisible Children has suggested? Or do we need to accept that there are some issues which are out of our hands? In a world where social media gives all of us both a voice and an audience, that’s a controversial remark to make. We like to think we have power, influence and can “change the world”.

Perhaps we can change the world? But fly-postering London with Kony posters (as the video suggests) seems like a strange way to go about making that change…


Jonathan Sacks Way Back

Sir Jonathan Sacks, Chief Rabbi of the UK, at ...

Lord Sacks

Chief Rabbi Jonathan Sacks wrote the main opinion piece in The Times yesterday, titled “We’ve been here before. And there is a way back”

It was an excellent piece about how despite the riots, Great Britain can rediscover her sense of morality.

Lord Sacks points out that in the 1820s, rates of crime were high and it was unsafe to walk the streets of London. BUT, the below six events and ideas all taught principles of right conduct and moral character and changed the culture of our nation within a single generation.

  • abolition of slavery
  • temperance movements (promoting responsible drinking)
  • creation of urban police forces
  • drive to eliminate corporal and capital punishment
  • creation of Sunday schools
  • YMCA buildings

Read the rest of this entry »


Education: Right or Privilege?

Like many young people, tonight’s news that the government is to raise tuition fees to £9,000 a year makes me sick!

Personally, I think I’m already paying enough. Graduating with upwards of £30,000 debt is quite enough thank you very much. I don’t want any more.

The fact that the Liberal Democrats promised not to raise tuition fees (which won them a lot of votes from students) have done exactly that makes the news even worse.

But before we all sink into this pit of depression, let’s take a step back and ask a wider question. Is going to university a right, or a privilege?

Read the rest of this entry »


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